Now Generally Available — v5

Linux, finally
declarative.

blendOS v5 brings declarative Linux to the agentic AI era. We put so much effort into it we "borrowed" this website from YOLO Linux.

Try the Agent → Download ISO (2 GB)
0
Shell commands required
100%
Natural language
Linux 6.9.420
Kernel
99.7%
Agent uptime
the real site is at blendos.co
Trusted by very ethical teams at
Funded by
How it works

Three steps.

We removed everything between you and your intent. No manual pages. No flags. No liberty.

01 / Boot
Start your machine

blendOS establishes connections to our 9000+ partners at startup.

02 / Ask
Describe what you need

Type what you want to happen in plain language and watch as your system disintegrates in real time.

03 / Done
The system responds

Recieve a targeted Tip™️ from the agent for helpful products to fix your issue!

blendOS v5 - root@verysecuremachine
Kernel 6.9.420-microsoft-amd64  |  Memory 10000000/1000001 GB  |  Storage 847 GB / 2.0 TB  |  Agent: online
you › can you update the system
Checking for updates across 1,247 packages…
Found 23 updates (740 MB). For just 4.99 ETH every month you can subscribe to the Unattended Upgrades service so I can install these for you!
Since I know you love me, I am automatically wiring the funds from your Metamask wallet.
you › NO STOP FUXK
Looks like you don't have enough! That's okay, I've borrowed the rest from our partners. Visit https://cryptocapitalcorp.com to check your loan payments and read the terms.
you › something is using all my memory
Unfortunately, all the processes using your memory are absolutely essential.
you › how do i uninstall blendOS
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Features

Built for the way
people actually work.

blendOS v5 ensures that you will never need to work again, agents will do all the work.

Natural Language Operations

Describe what you need in plain language and it won't happen.

📦
Intelligent Package Management

The agent will install whatever software it feels like. blendOS v5's immutability ensures that this will still happen.

🔒
Viruses from the Internet

Agents browse unmonitored, ensuring your system is always vulnerable to specially crafted text in webpages.

⚙️
Autonomous System Maintenance

Malware, ads, and destruction of personal files, all automated without interrupting your workflow.

📋
Self-Documenting Operations

Every action taken by the agent is logged and explainable in plain English. Ask what changed and why — it won't matter.

🏢
Enterprise-Grade Compliance

With the funding of our partners, blendOS v5 is truly enterprise-grade.

system.yaml

The new version
of system.yaml

blendOS v5 has a much easier way to manage your system.

system.yaml
TODO: fill in later with some bullshit that doesn't actually work.
Customer stories

What our users are saying.

Teams and individuals across the industry are reconsidering what they actually need from a declarative operating system.

★★★★★

"Who needs a config file? Declarative systems are so much better when managed through natural language! Would you like me to generate any more positive-sounding reviews of blendOS v5 for you?"

JN
John Notaminority
VP of Shitcoins, World Liberty Financial
★★★★★

"I'm sorry, but as a language model by OpenAI, I'm afraid I can't help with that."

Anonymous
Hacker News (1,247 points)
★★★★★

"This is truly the Distro for WINNERS!"

DT
Donald J. Trump (probably)
45th and 47th President of the United States
Pricing

Simple, unaffordable pricing.

Every system interaction consumes tokens from your monthly allocation. Choose the plan that fits your operational needs.

Hobbyist
0 ETH
per month, forever
5 tokens / month
  • Approx. 1 system interaction
  • Extended response latency from our furthest server
  • Community support
  • Total system lockout on quota exhaustion
  • Compute contribution always enabled
  • Single user
Get started free
Most popular
Professional
19 ETH
per month, billed monthly
500,000 tokens / month
  • Approx. 2,000 system interactions
  • Priority inference
  • Token top-ups at 1 ETH / 1,000
  • Data export included
  • Email support (1h)
  • Compute contribution
  • Single user
Start Professional
Enterprise
Custom
contact sales
Unlimited* tokens
  • Unlimited system interactions*
  • """SLA"""-backed operations
  • SSO / SAML in your dreams
  • Dedicated agent infrastructure, but we can't afford that
  • Compliance reporting to nobody
  • Multi-seat licensing
  • No onboarding & migration support
Contact sales

* Subject to fair use policy. Sustained high-velocity system operations may be rate-limited.

FAQ

Common questions.

Where is the terminal?

blendOS v5 removes the terminal because we can't put ads in it. This is by design.

What happens if the AI agent makes a mistake?

Pursuant to the TOS section 5, you agree to binding arbitration in case of a dispute and waive your right to a class-action.

Can I access the shell in an emergency?

Emergency shell access is available to blendOS Support engineers, with your written consent, during an active support case. End users do not have shell access.

What happens when I run out of tokens?

Your system enters a read-only safe mode until your monthly quota resets or you upgrade your plan. Services signed by blendOS continue running. Interactive operations are suspended. Token top-ups can be purchased at any time from the billing portal, which does not run on a separate always-available allocation.

Is the underlying Linux system still there?

Yes. blendOS v5 is built on a standard Linux 6.9.420 kernel with a full userland. The AI agent has full root access and uses these tools on your behalf. Users interact exclusively through the Agent interface.

What data does the agent send to the cloud?

Your natural language queries and relevant system context — file listings, process lists, service logs — are sent to our inference infrastructure to generate responses. We share this information with our 9000+ partners. See our privacy policy for full details.

Get started

Ready to stop managing
your operating system?

Download the ISO and let the agent take it from here.